My Experience

I have been a heroin addict for 6 years and now can honestly say it was the worst six years of my life.

Looking back at some of the things i have done in the six years of my addiction. i did whatever i could just to get my first fix of the day to get rid of the cold turkey, I'm sure most of you know what that is, it's a painful and stressful life to live. I have tried to stop using heroin about 4 times and every time i tried i was clean for about 3 months  if so long but relapsed every single time. It's really difficult besides the cold turkey (staying awake for about a week or the extreme pain you go through)(that drove me insane) I was clean for 4 months and the one day i lit a smoke and got the extremely strong taste of heroin in my mouth and that was the end of it, i had to make a plan to smoke, didn't care what it took.

With heroin when you first start using, one quarter in the morning lasts all day, keeps you lekker high all day and you can sleep. but then one takes the sickness away for about three hours and you must make another plan to smoke and it carries on and just gets worse, i was at one stage smoking about seven quarters a day sometimes even more. Many of the times two quarters at once done nothing to me and i wanted more. There were times i was passed out before 10 in the morning because i smoked too much, after a while heroine did nothing to me and i needed to smoke so much just to feel it a little. I sold everything i owned, stole whatever i could, wherever i could at that time. i didn't care who you were. I didn't want to do any of these things but the drugs had hold of my brain. Every single time i stole i was so happy and couldn't wait to smoke so didn't care who i stole from but the second i was finished smoking i thought "what the hell did i just do?" and prepared myself for jail once again or prepared myself for whatever was coming my way, and trust me jail is the worst place to cold turkey. On top of me being so sick and in pain i always ended up having to fight in jail just to stay alive or even had to fight just to have a blanket its so kuk! After a while i got involved in stuff that i myself used to say "how could people do that?". Yip that was before i was on heroine and now look at all the things i done and got involved in. I was in fights everyday, been stabbed 3 times got in so much trouble with the police i could not walk anywhere without being pushed and thrown around. Got involved in gangsterism, hung out with them every second i could. I done everything they did and told me to. Didn't want them to think i was scared and that got me into so much trouble. Don't ever become a gangster, rather stick to who you are! A person can change, leave drugs and sort your life out but a gangster wont let you leave the gang unharmed. I had a girlfriend for just more than 2 years but we both had problems and were using heroine together, we loved each other so much and the drugs made us so mad we would rather have killed each other than be with different people.

We did so many bad things together just to get drugs that we were forced to be separated after 2 years and that i did not like so my drug problem became even worse. We tried to stop together at different places but all we wanted was to be together. so before we were ready to face life again with drugs we got back together and whenever life got us down we would just smoke again - it was a deadly cycle. I tried so many of times to commit suicide but for some reason could never succeed. I would use so much heroin that i would just pass out, vomit blood, didn't know were i was and would just lay around not being able to move but the last time i tried was the worst. i used so much heroin i started throwing up blood got dizzy saw double and passed out and just laid there were i smoking, don't know how long i was laying there but once again i woke up and that's when i realized this is not the way i want to live, i want a life a proper life and cant handle all this stress and always being so sick and in so much pain! so i asked my family for help once again and as usual they were there for me, most families would have given up the first or second time around and later on i found God and that's helping me the MOST, i always believed in God but at the same time doubted him but not anymore!